Why We’re All Lying to Ourselves
Look, I’ve been in this biz for 22 years. Kids’ movies? I’ve seen them all. And let me tell you something—we’re all lying to ourselves.
It started back in ’03, at a conference in Austin. A colleague named Dave—let’s call him Dave—swore up and down that animated movies were the future. I laughed. I mean, really laughed. Then Shrek came out, and suddenly everyone was an expert.
But here’s the thing: we’re not. We’re just people who like to watch stuff with our kids and not feel guilty about it.
Let’s Talk About Quality
Quality? It’s all over the place. Take last year’s blockbuster, Enchanted Kingdom. I sat through it with my niece, Lily. She loved it. Me? I was checking my watch at 47 minutes in. But here’s the kicker—Lily’s mom, Sarah, thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. Why? Because Lily was quiet for 90 minutes.
That’s the game we’re playing, folks. It’s not about quality. It’s about survival.
And don’t even get me started on the sequels. Toy Story 4? Really? We needed another one? I asked my friend Marcus about it over coffee at the place on 5th. He just shrugged and said, “Money, man. It’s all about the money.” Which… yeah. Fair enough.
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Okay, so not all kids’ movies are terrible. Some are actually good. Like Coco. That one hit me right in the feels. But here’s the thing—it’s the exception, not the rule.
I mean, come on. We’ve all seen the bad ones. The ones where the plot makes less sense than a politician’s excuse. The ones where the songs are so catchy you find yourself humming them in the shower, even though you hate yourself for it.
And the ugly? Oh, there’s plenty of ugly. From the overly simplistic messages to the blatant product placement, it’s a wonder we don’t all walk out feeling a little dirty.
But Here’s the Real Kick
We keep going back. Why? Because our kids love it. And honestly, who are we to deny them that joy? I remember taking my nephew, Jake, to see Frozen. The kid was singing “Let It Go” for months. Was it the best movie ever made? No. But it made him happy. And that’s what it’s all about, right?
But here’s where I’m gonna ruffle some feathers. We need to stop pretending that every kids’ movie is a masterpiece. We need to be honest with ourselves. Some of them are just plain bad. And that’s okay. It’s okay to admit that we’re not always watching cinematic gold.
And if you’re looking for useful information daily tips on how to pick the good ones, well, good luck. It’s a minefield out there.
A Personal Rant
I’m gonna get personal here. I’m gonna talk about The Land Before Time. That movie wrecked me. I was 8 years old, and that dinosaur stuff scared the living daylights out of me. But I loved it. I loved every terrifying, emotional minute of it. And that’s the magic of kids’ movies. They can be scary, they can be sad, they can be stupid. But they’re ours.
So, let’s stop pretending. Let’s be honest. Kids’ movies are a mixed bag. Some are great, some are terrible, and some are just… meh. But they’re our meh. And we love them for it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date with a tub of popcorn and a movie that shall not be named. Wish me luck.
About the Author: Sarah “Salty” Thompson has been a senior editor for over two decades. She’s seen it all, and she’s not afraid to tell you how it is. Whether it’s kids’ movies, reality TV, or the latest celebrity scandal, Salty has an opinion. And she’s not shy about sharing it. When she’s not editing, you can find her binge-watching the latest Netflix series or arguing with her cat about who gets the comfy chair.
